Watches are many things to many people – style accessory, lifestyle statement, keepsake – but above all else they are timekeepers. You can throw in as many perpetual calendars and minute repeaters as you like but at its purest a watch simply needs to tell the time.
But what about when it doesn’t?
We’re not going to get into some kind of horological existential crisis here but suffice it to say that there are some ateliers for which the definition of a timepiece is blurry at best. Here are the ‘watches’ that throw it out the window entirely…
Hautlence Playground Labyrinth
If you’re wondering what else there is to this headline-grabber from Hautlence aside from a glorified marble maze… you can just keep on wondering. In no way does it tell the time and in no way is it actually useful. It takes some (mar)balls to create something that is essentially useless – and that is why we love it.
Not that there’s nothing other than the general philosophy to appreciate; the engineering is actually quite impressive. Despite there being no movement the crown still retains functionality, operating a mechanical lift to reset the game. The maze itself works well as a game of skill and you can find yourself whiling all too much time away guiding the platinum ball-bearing through its rose gold walls. Fortunately you won’t know just how much time.
Romain Jerome Day & Night Tourbillon
Day / night indicators are nothing new. They’re one of the oldest and simplest complications in a watchmaker’s mechanical arsenal, usually needing as little as a bit of shading. For Romain Jerome however that simply won’t do. Not only have they amped up the complexity to new heights but they’ve ensured that the time of day is all you can know.
It’s certainly a statement of intent from Romain Jerome’s first own movement. Two tourbillions work in sequence, swapping every 12 hours to indicate the half of the day you’re in. The sheer level of expertise funnelled into the watch is extraordinary; enough to know that adding hours and minutes would have been relatively simple. But hey, knowing whether the sun is up or not is vital too. It’s not like you can just look outside…
Haldimann H9 Reduction
The Labyrinth and Day & Night Tourbillon don’t tell the time but they do at least have functions. Granted they’re not particularly useful functions but they actually do something. Unless you count looking like a glimpse of the abyss, Haldimann’s watch does not. There are no hands or indicators of any kind; there’s not even a dial, just a dome of black glass.
It’s not the first Haldimann to eschew indicators but at least in previous models the mechanism was on display. There is actually a movement in there – an exceptional one at that – it’s just not visible. In short, it tells the time; it just doesn’t tell you the time. It’s possibly the only watch that could accurately be called smugly superior.
