Cristiano Ronaldo vs Messi

The two best players in the world; the two biggest rivals in football. It goes without saying that there’s plenty to say between them on the pitch, but that’s not what we’re interested in here. From dubious statues to even more dubious money dealings, it’s time Cristiano Ronaldo and Leo Messi faced-off where it really counts. We mean here, obviously.


 Ronaldo:  For the fourth year in the row (and thanks to a $58 million bonus from Real Madrid) Ronaldo is the highest earning player in the world at a staggering $93 million!

 Messi:  Second place isn’t so bad, but $13 million behind his rival? Messi might be at the top of his game but at $80 million he has a way to go before he can reach the heights of Rocket Ronaldo.


Ronaldo Messi Statue

 Ronaldo:  We miss the old statue. The current version might actually look like the subject, but no amount of retrospective bronze plastic surgery can erase the nightmares of the original putty face…

 Messi:  Despite being destroyed by vandals repeatedly (we’ve not checked if Ronaldo was in town), Messi’s Argentine statue isn’t half bad. It looks vaguely like the subject so 5/5.


2017 Bugatti Chiron
2017 Bugatti Chiron

 Ronaldo:  The richest player in football has a car collection to match. Three Ferraris, a Rolls-Royce Phantom and a Bugatti Veyron are just the start of his 19-car collection. His latest? The Chiron, obviously.

Toyota Prius

 Messi:  Messi’s collection is less valuable but far more practical, ranging from the stunning Ferrari F430 Spider to a… ahem, Toyota Prius. We doubt he’s doubling as an Uber driver so do we give him points for thinking of the environment?


Cristiano Ronaldo's property in La Finca, Madrid
Cristiano Ronaldo’s property in La Finca, Madrid

 Ronaldo:  His stunning villa in La Finca, Madrid puts him in prime footballer territory next door to teammate Gareth Bale. It also has seven bedrooms, eight bathrooms and a mini-football pitch, which almost makes up for the questionable interior design choices.

Messi's New Football-Shaped House in Barcelona
Messi’s new football-shaped house by Luis de Garrido in Barcelona

 Messi:  It’s shaped like a football. What else needs to be said? Designed by Luis de Garrido and set overlooking the Catalan mountains outside of Barcelona, this is one battle Messi firmly wins.


 Ronaldo:  It’s no surprise that the Sultan of the Sidestep allegedly tried to do the same with his taxes – because ‘he’s Cristiano Ronaldo.’ We’d fine him just for that.

 Messi:  The best part of being one of the world’s wealthiest sportsmen? Buying your way out of jailtime. That’s 21 months of it in fact, for allegedly evading $6.57 million-worth of taxes. But hey, at least it’s not just because ‘he’s Leo Messi.’


Tag Heuer Connected Smartwatch Cristiano Ronaldo
Tag Heuer Connected Smartwatch Cristiano Ronaldo

 Ronaldo:  As an ambassador (and part-time designer) for TAG Heuer, we don’t often get a look at Ronaldo’s other pieces. That’s probably a good thing; nobody sporting his diamond-encrusted Jacob & Co. could be accused of good taste.

Audemars Piguet Leo Messi
Audemars Piguet Royal Oak Leo Messi Automatic Chronograph

 Messi:  While the two may be close rivals on the pitch, the same can’t be said of their watches. Audemars Piguet is a brand TAG Heuer could only wish to emulate, and Messi’s own model is pretty tasteful.